First Flight

At the SLC Children's Museum, which is the best one I've been to

Clementine, along with her brother and sister took a trip out west to see her uncle Will graduate from college and hang out with family she has never met.  She was perfect on the plane and loved all the time she spent in her new baby wrap I made just before we left.  She spent time in Salt Lake City and drove up through some of the most beautiful farmland surrounded by mountains in Idaho.  She is a little tough to roadtrip with because she hates being in her carseat and won't fall asleep unless I hold the binky in her mouth, cover her eyes with a soft blanket and jiggle the seat back and forth until she falls asleep.  The unexpected 5 hour drive up to Idaho was a little tough, but I've figured out that if I swaddle her up, she'll sleep a lot longer in the carseat.

Quick timeline...

First night in SLC
Three nights in Idaho hanging out with family in Driggs in really fabulous condos, ate the best steak I have had in years, and attended BYU Idaho's graduation. 
Three more nights in SLC visiting Aunt Tracie and Meghan, friends Alissa and Ella and a bunch of my cousins.  It was so fun!

Thanks to all who made it a really great trip with minimal complications.  We made it home all with colds and I have lost my voice, but the cold didn't slow us down or cause any major problems until we got home and now Clementine has a slight fever.  Thanks for waiting until we got home darling girl.  I know that was a huge blessing.   So here was Clementine's first trip and she's only 8 weeks old! Oh, and we applied to get her passport today so she can join her siblings in being a world traveler.  Where do we go next? Africa, China, or Brazil....

 Chillin' with Auntie Meg

Super alert with Aunt Kris.  She looks so much like Henry in this shot.

Visiting Grandma Berry's grave.  It's the only grave you can relax on.  Love it and miss her!

Camping!

"Um, mom, what's that giant harry beast behind you?" "Oh, that's just big foot.  He lives here." 

We all took Clementine on her first camping trip a couple weeks ago to Canaan Valley, WV and she did great.  She slept through the night, spent all day in the front carrier sleeping and didn't even cry too much on the drive down and back.  She wasn't even 6 weeks old!

Our tent location: Beautiful!

Lucy's bachelorette pad.  Too bad she didn't meet any hot inbreds in West Virginia

Since we were in an alpine climate the nights were freezing and the days were really hot, but it was all worth it for some time around the campfire, marshmallows, good company(our amazing friends, Christi and Dave) and fresh air.  I just love leaving my busy life behind and relaxing my mind, even if my body is still working hard.

Our favorite camp site was taken so we settled for different ones, but still were able to play in the river, catching crawdads and relaxing in the cool water.  The coolest part was the wild blueberries that were all over the place! We were in blueberry heaven.  We spent our days foraging for berries like in times of old. 

Lucy helping out(a lot) with Clementine

Lucy in our orange(can you tell) tent resting with baby in million degree weather

My sister, Lucy, came down from NYC to join us, which was so amazing.  I'm so grateful that I have been able to see her so much lately.  I miss her so much!

Our lovely group around the campfire: Christi, Dave, River, Nya, Lucy, Henry, Bea, Clementine, Me and Justin(taking the pic)

We went to a Bluegrass festival at the Snowshoe ski resort, which was actually very developed and nice.  Loved it!

A great bluegrass group who played at Snowshoe.  I miss playing in a bluegrass band so much!!

We spent some time at the resort's lake and let the boys go extreme downhill mountain biking. 

Me, loving camping, but it seems I still have to convince Clementine how awesome it is(see face)

Visitors

So I need to give a shout out to all the people who came to help out for the first four weeks of Clementine's life.  I couldn't have survived without all of your help and support.

First of all, Thanks to Justin for being able to take a full week off and sacrificing a couple of your vacation days to hang out with the kids.  It was really wonderful to see you being so great with them.  I am very impressed with your fathering skills and I see how much our kids love you.

Justin hanging out at the pool

Taking care of a feverish Bea over Memorial Day weekend

Then my fabulous friend/sister/inspiration Christi came with her two kids and played with us all week long.  She was a godsend since my mom wasn't coming until the next week.  I don't know what I would have done without her help...and I have no pictures of her! What the heck! Sorry sista!

Then my mom came bearing gifts, as always, and made sure we all had good food to eat and tried to tame my wild children.  I hope she's recovered!

 As much as I would have loved Clementine to be in this photo shoot, I know we wouldn't have been able to see her face and she would have been screaming the whole time.  So this is the girls sans Clementine.

Nanna B chatting with Clementine

 Nanna B protecting Clementine from Bea the baby killer

Shortly after my mom's arrival, my sister, Lucy, came in from NYC just for the weekend.  It was so wonderful to see her since we hardly get to see each other.  I miss that little girl.

Our friends the Lothamers came in for the day from Indiana to finalize the adoption of her oldest two kids to her husband so they came over for a little celebration.  We miss them so much!

The Lothamer and Hohl kids having a concert.  Love the rockstar pose by Dominic!

At the end of my mom's visit, my step-brother and his family came with their two adorable little boys to play for a couple days.  We couldn't have had more fun and Henry and Bea got along very well with their sweet boys.  Hurray for cousins!

The kids having a picnic in the living room.  The two boys are Luke and Miles(little one) They are almost the exact same age as Henry and Bea.  So fun!

After my mom, my dad came for a week and was such a huge help.  He took the kids out for hikes and to the playground almost every day leaving me home to nurse, clean, cook, and take care of the baby.  He was so fun to have around and lightened my stress level a lot.  My kids really loved their time with him.

At the zoo looking at a peacock fanning it's feathers

Dad at the baby blessing looking all dapper

Dad doing double duty, feeding the baby and entertaining Henry. Woo Hoo Dad!

Then last, but not least, Justin's parents came in town for Franklin's graduation and played with us all weekend. Justin, my dad, and Burnell all spent time painting the playfort and now it looks fabulous! It was the hottest day of the year so far and totally humid. A million thank-yous for all your hard work!

Gammie snuggling up with Clementine

 The boys painting the playfort.  Can you tell how hot it was?Yikes! Look at that bright sun!

No one likes a frowny face...

Change it for a smile!  Clementine has been smiling and I think she's been my earliest smiler.  She smiled at me at four weeks and even smiles at herself whenever she's in her swing and sees her own reflection.  It's so cute to watch her check herself out.  I haven't been able to catch it on camera, but this is what we got camping this last weekend. Not a great shot but it's a start!

Can this really be happening to me again...yes it is.

So I'm having a serious meltdown because last week I got mastitis and I had to take antibiotics and now I have the dreaded thrush back.  Why, why, why, why(head hanging down and tears streaming down my face).  I promised myself that if I got that again I wouldn't put my family through my emotional ups and downs dealing with nursing problems again and now I'm faced with the decision to quit nursing cold turkey or try to work it out.  Emotionally, I am having a hard time deciding to let go because I FINALLY have enough milk supply for this baby and everything seemed to be going great and I've seriously never been so happy after having a baby, but I feel like I'm going to have problems with mastitis in the future since there are a few ducts I can feel she's not able to empty so why continue? I guess I was just so hopeful and dedicated to making it work this time.  I had thrush with Bea for 6 MONTHS and wasn't able to get rid of it so the thought just makes me sick that I got it again.  I'm not kidding when I say that I feel like I'm in a state of Post Traumatic Stress.  I am in shock(literally since I feel strangely similar to how I felt shortly after Georgie died, is that really weird?) that I got this again, I feel depressed and am in a numbing daze, I've been crying all day and am in denial that I have to go through this trial again.  I don't know why this is so important to me but obviously it is since I feel like such a huge part of my life right now is being ripped away from my control.  I don't know what to do.  I haven't nursed since 9am and every hour I feel worse about not feeding her. 

How is it with three you ask?

So, many of you who read Bea's blog when she was born might remember the many entries about how difficult it was to have a second child with a two and a half year old.  I don't know if I ever wrote this, but I was on the verge of insanity and literally broke down five times a day and found myself crying myself to sleep and screaming at Henry on a regular basis for almost a year. No kidding.  Needless to say I was really concerned about what Clementine was going to do to our family dynamic.  I have to say that it is going GREAT! I still have the same ol' issues I have always had with Henry and his attitude, but Bea hasn't changed much and is still as happy and normal as ever.  Clementine is a great sleeper and constantly gives me hours on end during the day to clean and play with the kids with no interruptions.  My house isn't a disaster, I get adequate sleep, my children have clean clothes to wear, I've been cooking a lot with the fresh vegetables from my CSA box and now my own garden and look at me, I still have a few moments at night to update blogs.  It is a miracle! I was preparing myself for the worst but this is the best possible outcome I could have asked for.  I have to admit, though, that Clementine is a little cranky if we were to compare her with Bea, but cranky newborns do not bother me one bit.  Cranky four year olds on the other hand, that gets on my nerves. 

I know that the Lord is blessing me to be able to have the energy and patience to deal with this transition and I have to tell everyone that I've uploaded the entire Book of Mormon on CD on an ipod shuffle and every morning when I wake up at like 7 am to feed the baby I listen to it for about a half hour and it's changed my life.  I have been blessed with so much more patience, love, and long suffering that I'm amazed at myself.  I still have a long way to go, but I am so glad I decided to do that because it's been such a huge blessing in my life.  Thank you to everyone who had a hand in bringing that book to light because it's helping me to be a better mother. 

Sweet Sleeper